Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
"Do this and you will be welcome anywhere."
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
"Ask questions to other people, questions they would enjoy answering."
To start off I don't care if some people don't like me I only care what certain people think about me. I don't like having more friends because I'm very picky about who I want in my life and who I don't. But I would say I'm interested in getting to know some people though it is rare. I don't want to become friends with someone because of how they look, I like to be friends with someone who likes what I like or someone who can make me laugh. If I observe someone and see they have what I'm looking for in a friend then I will talk to them try to get to know them and make them my friend, otherwise I don't care.
Rule 2: Smile
"Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.
"You don't feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile."
"It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends."
I think a smile has a lot of meaning. I agree smiling is good to do around friends. It shows that you feel happy to be around them. I don't agree with forcing yourself to smile though. Sometimes you just have one of those days when you're not feeling okay or people tried to bring you down, so you don't feel like smiling and that should be perfectly fine with your friends. They can try to comfort you, sometimes it helps. They should also respect your privacy if you don't want to talk about your issues. Your friends can also try to make you smile to make you feel better. Not smiling around them when you're feeling down is okay, you don't always have to smile.
Rule 3: Remember names
"A man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
"If you don't remember names, you are headed for trouble."
I think remembering names is very important if you want someone to like you. I have a really good memory so it isn't hard for me to remember names at all. I totally still remember names of people from my elementary and middle school, and I'll remember every one of them. That's just how good I am. I bet when I graduate high school, I'm still going to remember the names of all the people I met here.
How to remember names:
- Examine their faces as much as you can, try to find an unusual feature
- When you introduce each other ask them to repeat their name more than once
Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
"If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener."
"Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems."
Personally, I think I'm a great listener. I'm always there to listen to my friends and others talk about their problems. I never say a single word, interrupt them, or look away when they're talking to me about something. Even If I'm not interested at all in anything they have to say I will still sit there quietly listening to them talk and paying attention. I feel like that might be why most people like me or think I'm nice because of my listening skills. Sometimes though, I wish they were just as good listeners with me as I am with them when I talk but whatever, it's fine.
Five steps for Active Listening:
1. Stay Focused: keep natural eye contact, don't judge, and be patient.
2. Really Listen: Don't think about your similar experiences and what you should tell next.
3. Allow for periods of silence: Wait until the other person speaks again.
4. From time to time, repeat the other person's words and paraphrase it back to them.
5. Understand the emotions behind the words.
Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man's interest.
"The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most."
I am the type of person that only socializes with people that share the same interests as me. You have to at least share one thing in common with me or we can't be friends, like at all. Not even acquaintances. And the first thing is mention when I start a conversation with a friend, it's about the same things we like because then that way we can laugh and have a great time.
Rule 6: Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely.
"The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature." (John Dewey) "Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic."
I feel like I've always been very encouraging about a person feeling good about themselves. I know I have the ability to make someone feel important and special. I personally think I'm really good at giving compliments to others and making them believe me. Or when they're talking to me about something I can make them feel like they're the only person in the room that I'm talking to.
Reflection: My deepest thoughts and feelings about the six ways to make people like you is that most are accurate and I already do some of the six ways so that should describe why people like me. I will commit to applying to the six rules by continuing to follow them and getting better with each rule as time passes.
